Psych!

Silly, silly girl. You actually believed you had sold your house? Not so! You might as well have been playing with the school bully who, after offering you the Oreos from his lunch bag, snatched them back from your little fingers while yelling, "Psyyych!". MAJOR burn, dude.
Actually, not so much burned as unwilling to give in to unreasonable demands made on the behalf of your buyer. Or maybe just naive to think that just because you sold your house at a discount from the asking price that you didn't have to pay for upgrades that the buyer desired. Oh well, another day, another lesson learned.
And we feel quite a bit better about the whole situation now that we have this guy out of our hair, and we're ready to move on and sell this baby to someone who will appreciate her as we have. Or at least not want to knock out walls and expect us to pay for it.