Alright With 35

Last year on my birthday, I set my camera up on the tripod and took a self portrait, and so I decided to make it a yearly tradition. So much has happened in the past year, it's hard for me to believe that it has only been a year since I took that photo with Riley. I keep referring to the past year as my "dog year", meaning that I feel like I have lived 7 years in the past one. There were terrible, awful moments in the past year, but there were also amazing, triumphant, inspirational moments. I learned so many things. I learned you never know what's around the corner. I learned how to wear a wig and which hats cover a bald head best. I learned to not leave Riley unattended near my makeup drawer. I learned that there was a life apart from cancer before it happened, and there will be a life apart from cancer now that it is gone. I learned there are no guarantees. There are women I met a year ago who are no longer here, and there are some still kicking it who according to their medical charts should not be. I learned how to really fight. I learned there is more love in this world than cynicism and hate. I learned to feel lucky simply because I'm here, and I'm a mother, and a daughter - because I'm a wife and a sister, and a good friend. I learned that instead of cursing because I'm only 35 and I've had cancer, to feel blessed to have been given these lessons at so young an age. I learned that there's alot of life out there, and I intend to live it all.

So I'm mildly panicked that I am now in my "mid-thirties", but that will pass. I look at that picture above of me, and I see someone I really like. She knows some stuff she didn't a year ago, but still has some learning to do. She makes mistakes and says "sorry" and keeps going. She loves and is loved. She needs to take better care of her skin and lay off the chocolate a bit, but she can still wear a mini skirt and high heels. She kinda' likes her hair short (and if she changes her mind she now knows how to rock a long wig). She's alright with 35.