Hurry Up and Wait

Sometimes I feel like all I've done for the past two months is wait. Waiting for test results. Waiting to get in to see a doctor. Waiting to schedule a procedure. Wait, wait, wait. And I think it is making me slightly crazy (no comments please from the peanut gallery about how I was already a little crazy to begin with!). Because, in my mind, I have this incredible urgency, "Get the cancer out!", "Treat me now!", "Let's get on with it!", and that urgency is slamming up against all this external waiting, and the resulting stress is almost painful. Some days I feel really strong and in control, and other days all I want to do is lay in bed and watch a ten hour marathon of "Tabatha's Salon Takeover" (I find something oddly comforting about watching that crazy Australian lady bitch slap everyone into submission - I think I'd like to take her with me to a few appointments and see how long they'd make me wait!). You would think after spending the past five years taking care of small children my patience threshold would be much higher, but that doesn't appear to be true. We're still waiting for some test results that we were supposed to have last week, but there was a delay at the lab (i.e. someone forgot to submit my sample for testing) and I think that has ratcheted up my frustration level a notch, and I'm praying that when they come back (hopefully this Friday) I will feel some relief. But until then, in the immortal words of Tom Petty, "The waiting is the hardest part."